Oh Fudge
by LookAtYrOwnName
Summary: Kyon acquires a newfound power, could Haruhi be somehow involved? Of course she is... But what exactly has she done? Slight KyonHarem but focuses on KyonHaruhi. Thanks for the positive feedback everyone, didn't know it'd be so popular!
1. Day 1

**I do not own the Haruhi Suzumiya series. First fanfic, Criticism is accepted and wanted.**

I rolled away quickly as my little sister landed on my bed. This had been the first time I had been able to evade her in a while. My sister rolled off my bed as she pouted.

"Kyon! Where's Shamisen?"

I was taken aback by that question, what did she mean? He's always under my blanket sleeping with me, and scratching at my sides… Then I realized that an annoyed purr didn't sound off at the jump my sister had just performed. I inspected myself and was relieved to find no fur or scratch marks on me. I looked around my room and saw him snuggling on the side of the heater.

"He's over there."

"So there you are, Shamisen!"

As she walked closer the cat, Shamisen suddenly cracked open his eyes. He darted though my sister's legs and through the opened door. My sister, I do wonder what things she does to him when I'm not around...

"It's not like I do anything wrong to him!"

My daily routine went by as usual. As I walked to school looking down at my feet, I waited for the steep hill that signaled my soon to be arrival to school. It was then that a familiar fence came into my line of sight. The school stood before me. Had I already went up the hill? My legs didn't feel sore at all, I must be getting fit. I shuddered at the thought of me keeping up with Haruhi.

As I walked through the school doors I noticed what must have been my imagination. There was a uniform change for all the girls. Their skirts seemed to have gotten shorter along with their sleeves. As I walked into class 1-5, I paused at the doorway when I spotted something stunning. I continued to my chair in front of a pony tailed, mini-skirted, short sleeved Haruhi. Class went by as I wrote down notes. At lunchtime Haruhi was nowhere to be found and I was astounded that I had written 4 pages of notes. I had never been this tentative; usually I wouldn't even write enough notes to fill half a page.

I looked back into my mind and recalled every word that Okabe-sensei had said. I was proud that my mind was finally taking school seriously. I left to go to the clubroom to eat lunch. I knocked on the door and heard no reply. I came in, assured of who was already inside. While walking to a chair I greeted Nagato.

"Yo."

"Are you aware?"

I paused.

"What?"

"If you are not aware of it as of yet, then it would be well-advised not to interfere in the case of unknown consequences arising."

I didn't really understand what she was talking about, so I resumed moving to my chair until I noticed something in the corner of my eye. I whipped my head around with eyes dilated and heart pumping. I then started interrogating her.

"N-nagato, w-what?"

"What is it?"

"You're… Smiling!"

It was more of a content, soft smirk, none the less it was the first emotion that has ever surfaced that the naked eye could spot. Nagato raised her hand and ran it up her chin, as soon as her hand had reached her lips her smile was gone and a stoic small frown replaced it.

"Do not worry."

"What do you mean, "Do not worry? Why were you smiling?"

"There is no harm in a smile."

"…"

I was shaken up by this incident but I let it go. However, while I sat down and opened my bento a loud crash resonated throughout the room.

"Hey guys!"

I felt sorry for the wall that had to tolerate her actions.

"Kyon, what's wrong? You look like a ghost just slapped you"

"It was just that Na-"

I turned my head and saw a disapproving Nagato shaking her head slightly.

"Well, Kyon? You were saying?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it."

"Tell me!"

She had grabbed me by the collar, and was leaning on top of me.

"It was nothing!"

"Liar!"

"I… stepped on a bug!"

"… Wuss."

With that she left and I had the rest of the lunch time to eat in peace. I entered the classroom again and saw a bored Haruhi looking outside the window. I sat down and looked forward.

A few hours later, class had ended and students were leaving. I was not one of them. I walked quietly towards the clubroom, noticing a small tuft of Haruhi's hair disappearing behind the next corner. She walks so fast.

As I turned the corner, I noticed the clubroom door was left open. I looked inside of the classroom and saw something awe-inspiring. Asahina was wearing a form fitting cat girl outfit. It even had a huge gap between the bottom and top showing off her midriff. Haruhi was found clinging onto her as Asahina was squirming around.

"Mikiru! You look so cute, where in the world did you get this?"

"S-Suzumiya-san? This was the only outfit on the rack. I thought that you had bought th-this."

"I certainly would have, it looks amazing on you!"

I regained composure and walked across the room and sat down in a chair. In front of me I found a new board game set up on the table. If Koizumi saw Asahina in this outfit before me then so help me...

"K-Kouzumi isn't here Kyon-kun, he told me that he had to go to the clubroom right after school. When I came to greet him he was already gone, he must've set up the game before he left."

As I drank the tea that gave my soul warmth, I read the game manual. Haruhi was on the computer, Nagato held her book up covering her mouth, and Asahina was walking around with her tea tray as the bell on her tail rang.

As I read the small book, a piece of paper fell out from between the pages. I immediately looked at Nagato to see if it was hers, but she didn't return my gaze. I opened the note and saw handwriting I didn't recognize.

_Meet me at the park outside the station at 7pm. We must discuss the sudden change of circumstances. Be sure to say hello to the cute Mikuru for me._

I crumpled the note. There was only one person that could annoy me with so few words. Koizumi was going to have a long wait.

I arrived at the park at 7:12 and reminisced on the many memories that involved this place as I approached the park bench. I was greeted by no one. There was no one on the bench, was he really _that_ impatient?

Behind me I heard something disturbing.

"Hello Kyon."

I turned around to see him smiling six inches from my face.

After picking myself off the floor I was thinking of a question to ask him, but first of all; what the hell is wrong with this guy? Like really.

"I'm sorry Kyon, I guess I'm late. I suspected that you were going to come later than what I asked, so I came late as well. I saw you walking so I just continued to follow you lead."

"… Never mind that then. What did you want to talk to me about? Is it about Haruhi?"

"No, this concerns you."

"What about me?"

"You are the new god."

**First fanfic, I'll add more humor later on. This chapter is just here to set up the story for the rest of the fanfic.**


	2. Day 2, Part 1

**I do not own the Haruhi Suzumiya series. First fanfic, Criticism is accepted and wanted.**

In a stance that made me look like Taniguchi seeing me and Nagato all the way back then, I stood there, questioning the sanity of this esper.

"What the hell are you talking about? "I'm god." What are you thinking?"

"I do not know the specifics but it seems that Suzumiya-san had an urge to give you something that made you special."

"Then why the hell did she give me her reality warping powers?"

"We think that the powers she gave you correlate to how highly Suzumiya-san thinks of you."

"So, you're saying that the relationship Haruhi has with me is like the relationship that the Universe has to a reality bending individual?"

"Yes. Because she gave you complete control of those powers, it seems that to her, you mean everyth-"

"Alrighty then! I have gained a new reason to find you annoying. Come on, calling me out here just to say something as stupid as "You are the new God.""

"Well the Agency has your back, we always have."

He said this with his brilliant smile and a wink, flicking his wrist as he gave a 2 finger salute. He turned and left. I walked home thinking of a way to get back at him for wasting my time like this. But although he's annoying, he is usually trustworthy. What if he wasn't lying?

I shook the thought.

I arrived home and walked to my room. I was tired. I had walked to the park and back with no time to rest. As I entered my room I saw Shamisen on my bed, but as he saw me he left the sheets and went onto the floor. I loved this _good fortune_. I had my whole bed to myself and didn't need to contort around Shamisen.

Before going to sleep I re-raised the question, what if Koizumi _was_ right? I decided to test this. Hmm, I needed to do something not too big but something that would create solid proof... I raised my arms towards a wall. There shall be a painting of a boat! I continued staring at the wall as my arms went numb for being held up for so long. I started to feel rage build up. I am going to punch Koizumi _really_ hard in the morning for doing something so pointless.

I woke up an hour before school. My sister hadn't even woken up yet. I looked up at the wall to see if anything had changed while I was asleep. I wasn't surprised when all I saw was a plain surface.

School was normal, only limiting myself to 2 pages of notes. After school ended, I walked up to the literacy club room until I heard a cry coming from inside the clubroom itself.

"K-Koizumi-kun!"

It was Asahina.

If that bastard touched Asahina I'm going to break his legs. I ran towards the clubroom and opened the door to see Koizumi's back with Asahina touching his face with a concerned look, my frenzy died and was replaced with shock when Koizumi turned around and faced me and I saw him with a swollen, red cheek with a bandage on it.

"Oh, hi Kyon!"

"Koizumi... Who did this to you?"

"I don't really know, all I can remember is that a few minutes after I woke up. Probably just around 6am a giant force knocked me on my face, it felt like a punch too."

"Uhh."

"Hmm, I'm sure that we're still friends, right Kyon?"

His smile still had that strange annoyance around it even with a swollen cheek. Then I recalled what had happened last night.

"Kouzumi, we need to talk."

"Of course Kyon-kun, Mikuru-san please make us some tea."

Asahina was in her maid outfit again, and quelled her concern with her tea making.

"Kyon this might be serious. Although the organization took this into possible consideration when the orders were given, I might have made you more in control of your powers when I informed you of them. By the way, did you want to hit me in the morning?"

"No! Well. . . It's like this. I was testing the possibility of what you said last night. I couldn't do what I wanted to do so I was mad at you for wasting my time and wanted to. . . _ahem_. . . punch you in the morning."

"Ahh, I see. Your powers are still controlled by your subconscious thought, you can't consciously control your power, but when your emotions are distressed your powers are called upon."

"But Haruhi must get mad sometimes, why don't I see people with broken legs litter her path?"

"Like I said, the awareness of your powers could have drastically increased their controllability."

"So does this mean that if Haruhi _knows_ about her powers then lots of people may be hurt?"

"That's impossible now."

Koizumi said this with a wide smile, like he'd been waiting for this question. What exactly did he mean? What's different?"

"What I mean is that, there can only be one god in any one reality, at the cost of her own powers she has given you absolute control of the outcome of this universe."

"That's... annoying; Wait, isn't telling me this making me even more aware of my powers? Wouldn't that mean that my subconscious will make more and more desires come true?"

"Probably."

It was then that the scream of a well endowed maid was heard. The sleeves of her shirt had vanished and her long dress had turned into a skirt.

"W-What's going on! M-my clothes!"

Oh no... I bolted out of the room as fast as I could, this is not good. I thought about all the recent things that had been happening. My sister not jumping on me, Shamisen not in my bed, an easy trek up the now non-existent hill, my classroom attentiveness, Nagato showing emotion, Asahina and her new 'costume,' Haruhi with a ponyt- Whatever, I need to find a solution to this fast!

I ran under the staircase and tried thinking of a way out. I can't just tell myself that I don't have powers, can I? The powers themselves don't work unless it's a subconscious thought, so the only way to get rid of them is to emotionally hate them. That could be downright impossible; life has been going great recently.

"Hiya Kyon-kun! Whya hiding behind the stairsa?"

Dammit, Tsuruya was here. Images of her in the waitress outfit she wore during the festival flooded my mind. I immediately covered my eyes with my hands and tried to quickly walk away from under the staircase.

"Whatsa your hands doing covering your eyesa- nyoro?"

I felt a slight tug on my hand as Tsuruya tried to pull my arm away. I resisted but it was too late, I tried to manually close my eyes but I had already caught a glimpse of Tsuruya. . . in her underwear.

"Ahhhhh, don't look!"

The scream was already quite loud and the fact that I was in a stairway made my ears ring for quite some time. I thought about all of the trouble I'd get into as she explained this situation to the principal or authorities. A feeling of despair swept over me. I ran away and from the corner of my eye I witnessed Tsuruya's clothes reappearing on her body.

I didn't know where to turn to. Dammit where's Koizumi, I need to talk to him and find out more about this. That idiot, where is he when you need him! It was then that I heard something fall behind me.

"Ouch!"

I turned around slowly.

"Koizumi-kun, where did you- Whatever, why the hell am I seeing naked girls everywhere?

"Ah, that I also know the answer to. It is probably the reason for your new car too."

"Wait, What? What the hell do cars and girls have in common?"

"Maybe you really are naive. This is all because you possess a _male mind_."

"..."

"Don't feel bad. I can't even imagine what would happen if a girl had this problem. Well, probably nothing too illegal like making girls strip-"

"Koizumi!"

"Sorry, also do not get too close to Suzumiya-san. I can't guarantee what will happen. The organization is doing research to find a way to have your powers shifted back to Suzumiya-san or at least keep them under control. Sorry about this."

It was then that I remembered that this was his fault; he was the one that told me about these powers. Life was going pretty well before this. I didn't even want to look at him right now.

"Kyon-kun, you're glaring at me. I see, well good bye the-"

Koizumi faded into thin air, I wonder where I sent him.

It doesn't matter; I had to fix this before something bad happens! Wait! I am the stoic character. I am not ruled by my emotions. I will not let these powers- did he say I have a new car?


	3. Day 2, Part 2

**I do not own the Haruhi Suzumiya series. First fanfic, Criticism is accepted and wanted.**

A faint ringing then caught the attention of my ear, if it hadn't been so familiar then I might not have noticed it. Someone was calling my cell phone. After answering the phone and placing it to my ear I soon regretted the action.

"When did you think you got the right to buy a car without telling your Brigade Chief?"

"I-"

"A Nissan Skyline no less! I'm impressed; you might even be promoted if rides are given."

"A Niss-?"

"Where did you get the money anyway? From now on you are paying all the bills for Brigade meetings rich boy!"

"I already d-"

"Let's go to the zoo on Sunday! It was always too far away and the metro doesn't quite go near it-"

"Haruhi!"

"Tch, you don't have to yell. Yes Kyon?"

"How do you know about it?"

"What? I saw it with my own eyes, and who hasn't? There's a crowd's around your car in the parking lot."

"What? Parking lot, it's here?"

I hung up on her, I'd regret it later but I had to see it for myself. I was briskly walking to the side door of the school. I didn't even remember buying a permit to park at the school for free, so how was it parked there? I opened the school side door to the parking lot and saw a mess of students of all years congregating around a specific car. Common sense put two and two together and I walked towards the center. Common sense didn't see this one coming though.

"It's Kyon-kun!"

"Kyon!"

"What's up!"

"Wah!~"

A loud cheering entered my ears rivaling the decibels of Tsuruya at the stairway. As I continued my way through the crowd, I felt pats on my back and soft punches on my sides. When I reached the center I was sure that I'd have to go to the nurse for some internal bleeding issues, but before that they'd have to get me out of my coma. I was feeling lightheaded, this was my car!

"An amazingly painted Nissan Skyline GT-R, the only question is, why does it only have no miles on it?"

Taniguchi, who seems to have a previously unknown in-depth knowledge of cars, had been standing right next to me talking about the car and its features. I couldn't care less as I looked in front of me.

"Kyon buy me something too, if you can afford this then why have you been holding out on me!"

I was speechless and was getting dizzy. Then I wondered, how would I get in, I didn't have the keys. A jingle in my pocket was heard. Of course. . .

I took out my house keys and a new key I didn't recognize was connected to the ring. I hoped for the best and stuck the key in the door. _Click_ I stood at the door for a few seconds before actually opening it due to shock. I stepped into the car that seemed to be fitted just for my body. Cheers from the crowd were flooding my car. The key slid into the keyhole and a neon light shined on the inside interior and on the bottom of the outside exterior.

"Nice find Kyon, it's already been modded with neon lights. I'm starting to think more and more that it's stolen."

I smiled at Taniguchi and revved the engine, the crowd backed off and I began to move my car forward until...

"Halt!"

I suddenly slammed the brakes. It was a familiar voice, but the face was blurred by the light. I looked around the interior and pressed a button that would remedy the situation. The lights died down and Haruhi stood before the car. I suddenly remembered what Koizumi had said about Haruhi.

"_Also, do not get too close with Suzumiya-san. I can't guarantee what will happen"_

I was too scared to do anything. Haruhi stood there, completely normal. She walked around and knocked on the passenger side window.

I was taken out of my trance and rolled down the window and she stuck her head in.

"Who said that you could hang up on me AND leave club activities? Have you seen what happened to Koizumi's face and I can't find Nagato!"

I realized that she was right, where was Nagato when I was in the clubroom? I guess I'll have to ask her when she gets back.

"Well… I have to go home early because… I need to get some… groceries?"

"Hmm… Let's go then! I need to get something too."

"Sure- Wait, what?"

She took her head out the window then slid her entire body in, feet first. I felt my eyebrow twitch. What was going to happen to Haruhi? No, I'm being absurd. All that happened to Asahina was shorter sleeves and a skirt. But… Tsuruya she lost most of her clothes. Haruhi's clothes weren't any different, maybe I just don't like her- or she simply didn't change because I think she's perfe-

"Hurry up Kyon!"

Nah.

As we made our way to a nearby market place I admired the cars amazing handling. A familiar ring caught my attention again, I picked up my cell phone to find Koizumi on the other side. How did he get my number? I thought I always star 67'ed when I called him.

"Where are you and Suzumiya-san? Asahina-san and I have already headed home because you guys didn't come back."

"We're going to the grocery store."

"I see, going there in your new car? Has anything strange happened to Suzumiya-san?"

"Nope, care to explain? I thought you said something "unforeseen" would happen."

"Hah, well if you take things into consideration, nothing happening to her _is_ unforeseen. But I'd guess new car has caused your mind to go into a temporary euphoria. Your subconscious does not find it necessary to seek further joy."

"So this euphoria will end at one point in the future?"

"Yes, but not for quite a while I'm assuming. Check back with me tomorrow, I need to do some tests."

"I'm not your lab rat!"

We had reached the market place parking lot. I was looking for a parking space as I continued my conversation with Koizumi while Haruhi was looking around the unfamiliar interior of the car.

"Fair enough, but remember, this is also for the safety of all those around you."

"Fine, fine."

I hung up the phone and unlock the doors. We nonchalantly walked through the crowded market place until I realized that, I have no idea what to buy. I lied to Haruhi so that I had an excuse to leave club activities. I had to make it look like I was actually on an errand or she'd question me and I'd never hear the end of it! Wait, what am I scared of? She has no influence on me anymore. I can do anything I want!

"There it is! Kyon let's go to that store."

Immediately, I walked towards to the store she pointed to. Maybe it was just a force of habit that I kept following her orders. Before me stood a costume shop, no doubt it was where Haruhi bought Asahina's cosplays. I looked at the isles as we went deeper into the store. It looked innocent enough with the princess costumes. . . witch clothes. . . police officer uniforms. . . and dominatrix outfits?

I took a look around, furry hand cuffs, neko outfits, mini-bikinis! The deeper we went into the isles the more revealing the clothes became, it wasn't long before thin gauze bandages came into view. Then I heard an astonished "oo-ing."

"Kyon-kun, what do you think about this!"

Standing before me was Haruhi wielding a deadly weapon known as a school uniform. You may have thought that the skirts the girls were already wearing were short. This skirt was probably an inch or two away from showing something that would be deemed "inappropriate." And the shirt it came with had a low V cut and ribbons.

"I'll go try it on. Tell me how it looks; I've never had a second opinion on these things before."

"What? You're gonna try it on?"

"Of course, I always do. As Brigade Chief I must make sure that the SOS Brigade's mascot looks as appealing as possible, meaning that all outfits must be test worn beforehand!"

Did that mean she wore the maid, waitress, and nurse outfits also? Images of those clothes on Haruhi flashed in my head until I desperately tried to shake them off. When I focused, Haruhi was already gone and then I looked around. Above me was a sign that said 'Changing Rooms to the Right.'

I followed the sign as I heard a door close near the direction I was going. I came across multiple booths with about a foot of material missing from the bottom of each door. After sitting on a waiting bench I looked at the changing rooms and something caught my eye- a pair of amazingly cute, small, bare feet were in my view. I wondered where Haruhi was. So, I looked at the bottom of the other booths and saw no other patrons. I felt a cold sweat as I realized that I had complimented Haruhi's feet. After staring at the lights of the ceiling for a few seconds, I looked back at the occupied booth and saw a skirt drop.

My body tensed. Not long after, a matching shirt joined it. I stood up and made a brisk walk to... I don't know where, just away from that! I found myself standing in a corner surrounded by a bunch of monster costumes. A blood curdling laugh was heard that made me jump, it seems that I bumped my elbow on a button for an animatronic skeleton head. Then something very faint but much scarier was heard.

"Kyon? I have the outfit on, it's pretty revealing... Tell me what you think!"

"Um, alright I'm coming."

Maybe I should have worded that differently. I walked down the aisles and saw the familiar sign, I turned the corner and the beckoning classmate came into view. I guess the skirt was shorter than I thought. It probably left about half an inch of fabric to the imagination. And the V cut in the shirt traced over her umm, assets.

"So what do you think?"

She said this with an alluring stance puffing out her chest with one hand on her hip and sticking out her butt.

"You look Amazing. . . The outfit I mean! Heh, heh."

"Oh… Yeah, thanks."

Dammit, I can't believe I said that. She even turned her back on me, she probably thinks I'm some pervert. I turned around also when i felt my face warm up.

"Where are my clothes!"

Oh this is not good. If I turn around now I might see something that would cause a very large commotion. It was already out of my hands, as soon I heard the scream from a girl in distress my body was already in motion. Oh thank goodness, her clothes were on. Well the costume was anyway.

"My school uniform, where is it?"

I had to play it cool. I had to give her a reasonable answer that would stop her questioning.

"Oh no! This can't be serious? Don't tell me someone took it."

"What! No one steals from the SOS Brigade! Let's go Kyon we're going to find that pervert."

That didn't work as intended. I've got to get her away from this situation before it turns bad. She began walking around and I followed in pursuit.

"You can't go around dressed like that!"

"Nonsense, Mikuru was going to promote the SOS Brigade in this anyway.

"Don't you want Mikuru to showcase it instead?"

"That doesn't matter right now. A pervert is on the loose!

She stopped walking.

"Wait a minute, why are you so focused on getting me off the case?"

Oh no.

"Did you take my uniform?"

"N-no! O-of course not."

"Gimme your bag."

Before I could rebel she had already taken my bag from under me and peeked inside.

"You're clean..."

"I would never steal your clothes, I'm smarter than that."

"Well fine, drive me home. I need to find my spare uniform for school on Monday."

That's right, today was Friday. And she forgot about my "errands." Haruhi tossed my bag to me and we began our walk to the cashier.

After buying her clothes we walked to my car.

"Alright let's go. Wait, where is your home?"

"I'll show you as we go."

The ride was tense; she had to stay wearing the outfit she bought at the store. It was undeniably attractive. Only a few words were exchanged, mostly her telling a direction and me giving my acknowledgment of it.

We reached her home, nothing too special. It seemed completely normal to any bystander. As she left I started up the engine again only to hear a whirring, empty sound. How much gas did this car have when I got it? She turned around with a glare.

"You're so irresponsible! You didn't even fill up your new car's gas tank even when you knew you were going on erran- Kyon! You idiot, you forgot about those too!"

"You did too. . . Well it's not a problem, I'll get them later. But what am I going to do now?"

"Well you can't just leave your car here and go home. Kyon, you're gonna have to stay here at my house and we can get some gasoline tomorrow."


	4. Day 2, Part 3

**I do not own the Haruhi Suzumiya series. First fanfic, Criticism is accepted and wanted.**

I've never been a troublemaker or been arrested before so my police record is clean. I could've gotten in trouble those years ago when I helped a young girl draw markings on school property, but I didn't. So I don't think it would affect me that much if that same girl reported me for mysteriously sexually harassing her.

Who am I kidding? I'm going to go to jail! No college is going to accept me! My parents will throw me out! I won't even be able to get a job at that fast food place with the creepy clown that plays with children!

A sting on my face stopped my inner rant.

"Kyon! You've been sitting there forever with a stupid face that looked like someone bit your toe. What are you doing?"

I need to find a way to get out of here.

"U- Um. . . What about your parents! Y-yeah your parents! They won't let a boy stay here, will they?"

"Oh, them? They're not even home yet. They'll come back from their dinner near midnight or something. And besides they're fine with boys. They were actually a bit disappointed that I never brought home a boy after they heard about my middle school social life."

Damn, her parents are fine with a boy staying with her. Hmm, maybe there's more to this situation than meets the eye? No! I can't do something like that or else! Wait, why don't my powers send me home or give me a tank of gas? I'm desperately trying to get out of here, unless... I... subconsciously... don't... wanna leave- SHIT!

"Let's go Kyon. This costume is pretty tight and it's made of some silky material. It's getting pretty hot so my body is like really sweaty right now and all I wanna do is take a nice shower."

I gagged a little.

With that she turned and walked towards her door. Reluctantly leaving any possibility of a normal night behind me, I walked towards the crack of light that Haruhi had left me. My pace slowed as I began to wonder what her house actually looked like. My hand twitched as it touched the doorknob, was I really going to spend a night with Haruhi? The girl who had filled the past years of my life full of turmoil and strife? The girl who almost caused me to die, multiple times? The girl who- ah to hell with it.

I pushed the door inward, and was soon bathed in the light of the house. This was quite a stupid move because my eyes were still adjusted to the darkness outside. As I crouched in the doorway, blinded, I frantically rubbed my eyes with my hand.

"Let's go upstairs to my room, Kyon."

My arm was taken from me and it began to pull my body up a staircase.

Haruhi was pulling me up to her room with one arm and with the other she held something that looked like a blanket. This staircase was pretty long wasn't it? I was still somewhat blinded so I was walking up the stairs on pure intuition on where the steps were located. This staircase is huge. It wasn't long before my feet failed predicting where the next step was and I fell near the top of the stairs. I landed on the top platform near Haruhi's room and and thanked god for not letting me fall down that monstrously long staircase. No wonder Haruhi is so athletic, is this how Haruhi exercises?

As I laid on the floor with tired legs I felt myself being dragged across the hardwood floor, Haruhi was still pulling me as if nothing had happened. I could see that she needed to sweep her floors...

My back was being scraped by small granules on the floor, this became pretty painful and I was still very dazed.

"_Haruhi_..."

She's not listening...

"Haruhi."

Dammit my back...

"Haruhi, stop dragging me!"

"Huh? I stopped already, we're in my room."

My eyes flew open. A bed in the corner of the room with frills was what was above me. I spied walls painted with multi-colored designs, they somewhat resembled the designs Haruhi drew on Tanabata those years ago. They were neatly hand painted which probably meant I was in the same room as the very artist herself. Looking around, there were stuffed animals on shelves and a few inches near them were grotesquely shaped, monstrous figurines.

"Go watch some TV or play on the computer. I'll go get a tooth brush for you."

"Why? I'm going to go home in the morning anyway, why do I need to look fresh for a night?"

"An SOS Brigade member cannot pick up bad habits, you must regularly brush your teeth. And if you were to lose a tooth then what would happen to the image of the SOS brigade? We're not pirates!"

"..."

She left the room, leaving me alone in unknown territory. On the desk I spied a remote control, might as well take her advice. I fumbled with it and eventually turned on a modest sized TV.

_"Loch Ness Monster: Is It Real?"_

The television was set on a documentary channel that investigated different phenomena. That's to be expected in Haruhi's territory, but what happened next wasn't.

_Fshhhhhh_

"Cold!"

A shower was turned on, and apparently it was next door. The smell of mist was seeping into the room. With a shudder I quickly flipped through the channels.

-time lapse-

_Irk, irk, irk. _She's turning off the water, so her shower was done I suppose.

"Kyon, I forgot to get clothes. Could you go get me something?"

"Oh, sure I guess."

What could go wrong? I walked towards her closet. It was night time so she would probably want her pajamas. I spied a two piece pajama set. Long, silk pants with a matching, spaghetti-strapped tank top. Hmm, this is all she needs right?

Wait... Haruhi... Is a girl. Did girls even wear bras when they went to sleep?

If I get the "extra" clothes and give them to her, she could call me a pervert and kick me out and our relationship would never be the same. But if I don't give her them to her and she wanted them, the worse that could happen is that she would call me incompetent and tell me to get them. I guess I'll go with the latter.

I walked out the door and noticed Haruhi had turned off the lights for the rest of the house before her shower, it was nighttime after all. The door right next to Haruhi's room had light seeping out from the door frame. I knocked on what I deducted was the bathroom door.

"Here Haruhi."

I heard the lock click and a bare arm shot out. I paused because I had forgotten that the clothes were meant for her because she was completely naked in a bathroom.

Her arm started waving a little so I broke out of my trance and began to hand her the clothes, but not soon enough. The door opened and half of her body was revealed to my eyes, in a towel of course.

"Hurry up, it's getting cold."

I handed her the clothes and she shut the door. I began walking back to her room.

"Hey, did you get me a-"

"…!"

"Never mind."

I felt my face warm up and a cold sweat followed. I walked to her room and sat on the bed when a rolled up bundle of fabric caught my eye, it was what Haruhi brought with her up the stairs. Was it a blanket? I disregarded it began watching TV again. Haruhi then came in the room with a new toothbrush in hand.

"Here brush your teeth while I set up your bed."

"Bed? What bed?"

She pointed to the thin blanket that I spied.

"What! That barely qualifies as a bed sheet! Don't you have any guest rooms or something?"

"Nope, all of the extra rooms are for reunions or entertainment."

I shrugged and sighed, I'm not looking forward to sleeping on the 'bed' Haruhi was preparing for me. I headed towards the bathroom. It was still very humid and the mirror on top of the sink was covered in mist. I finished brushing my teeth and washing my face, but I was still curious if my face had any toothpaste left unwashed. I did the obvious thing and wiped the fog off the mirror.

I noticed that I had no unsightly toothpaste left on my face, but that's not what caught my attention the most. Behind me was a hamper full of used clothes, brassieres hanging about. I quickly left and entered Haruhi's room. I still had my cleaned toothbrush with me. This was the first time I really thought about it.

"Hey Haruhi, should I keep this toothbrush or what?"

"Oh. Do whatever you want with it; it's my old one anyway."

"Alright- ah."

Didn't see that one coming. I soon had a strange sensation in my mouth and felt my body shivered.

"Oh god... My mouth."

I began sarcastically choking.

"Oh shut up, and isn't it a man's dream for a girl to share something so private with them?"

I fell to the floor.

"I'm, dying..."

"Stop that!"

I felt soft kick on my leg. And then I got up.

"Why'd you give me a used one? Don't you have a new one around here?"

"Yea, the new one was the one that I used."

"...!"

"It's only a few days old anyway. How was I supposed to know that you'd want a new one? I'd think it would be a waste if you were to use a new toothbrush and then just throw it away."

"…"

"Kyon, I'm gonna go to sleep. Don't even think about doing something perverted!"

I half expected myself to gag because I had just put Haruhi's toothbrush in my mouth, but I didn't and instead I felt a blush. Maybe I am a pervert.

"Hmph"

She turned off the lights and the TV. I guess I don't have a say in whether I was going to sleep or not.

I scoffed and laid down on the makeshift bed, it was right beside Haruhi's own bed. Haruhi momentarily turned on a lamp. The pajamas I gave her finally came into view. She was fixing up the pillows on her bed, with her butt pointed towards me… I quickly turned away and almost hit my face on a desk. I heard the sound of a mattress bouncing so I thought that it would be safe to turn back now that she was done, I was wrong. The tank top she wore had really, really long spaghetti straps. By the time real fabric came into view, it was almost too late for innocence to stay alive. I felt my face redden as she turned off the lamp.

Am I really going to sleep here- with her- tonight? I hope to god that nothing happens tonight... Wait, did I just pray to myself?


	5. Day 3, Part 1

**I do not own the Haruhi Suzumiya series. First fanfic, Criticism is accepted and wanted.**

I remember myself rolling along the floor all night; this bed gave_ very_ little comfort. Pains along my back and hips were present.

It was morning and my eyes fluttered open. I remembered that I had some dreams, but as I tried to remember them, they seemed to wisp away. I felt myself slowly drift back to sleep after I remembered that it was Saturday and there was no class.

Probably only a few minutes later I awoke again, except this wasn't intentional. I was kicked into a nearby desk as I covered my ears from a loud grating sound.

"Kyon! What the hell are you doing sleeping with me!"

Oh no, I _did not_ like the sound of that string of words. My eyes groggily opened and I turned around to see Haruhi sitting down, glaring at me. I was still dazed, either from my sleepy state or the fact that I was just kicked into a desk, so I just laid on the floor holding my head and reclosed my eyes.

"Kyon! Explain yourself!"

This time, her words were joined with her hands holding my collar. I was shaken back and forth until I became fully awake. Then I realized that she wouldn't stop shaking me and I began getting nauseous.

"Haru- Hi! –Stop- Shakin-ng- Me!"

The hands released and I was dropped to the floor.

"Now explain yourself, why were you sleeping with me?"

I finally began analyzing the situation.

Haruhi said that I had slept with her, right? So that probably means that I must have gotten into her bed at night when the discomfort of the floor was too much to bear, I guess it _was_ my fault. Then I finally opened my eyes and looked at Haruhi. She was in _my_ bed.

"What do you mean, "Why was I sleeping with you?" why were _you_ sleeping with _me_?"

Haruhi looked around and then her face became riddled with confusion. She stood up letting go of a blanket. I could see that her clothes had _adjusted_ during her sleep. Her pants were tilted to one side revealing one of her hips and her tank top was even lower than before. I turned, nearly hitting the side of my head on the desk again. Haruhi noticed what I had.

"Eep!"

I could hear her turn around and fix her clothes.

So I wonder what _really_ happened last night, did she just roll over and fall onto my bed?

"I did not roll on to your bed! I don't have bad sleeping habits such as _tossing!_"

"Then why were you in my bed?"

"Hmm... You must have carried me into your bed for some reason! I told you not to even _think_ of doing perverted things while I was asleep!"

"I'd know better than to touch you during _your_ sleep."

I looked at my temporary bed, then an image flashed in my head, a memory that I faintly remembered. I quickly grasped onto the image and tried to connect it to anything in my memory banks. It was something that happened in the middle of the night, was it just a dream?

_I was uncomfortable so I awoke. I stood up and twisted my back from side to side, cracking it to relieve the pain. I looked to the bed beside me. Haruhi was sleeping with her blanket draped over one leg and half of her upper body. She looked so peaceful, that evil little witch. . . No doubt about it, I was jealous of her sleeping conditions. I said to myself that she shouldn't deserve such a blessing._

But I could have sworn that right after that I laid back down and went back to sleep. Hmm, I guess I _was_ the one who brought her down to my bed, unintentionally of course.

"Uhhh… Haruhi, it doesn't matter anymore; the past is the past."

"Hmm? What are you talking about? What if in that past- you molested me? Then it matters!"

Agh, such difficult situations! Dammit, how am I going to keep this signature, stoic personality with all this stuff happening all around me, oh fuck it.

"And what if I didn't? What if you went out last night to rob a bank? When you came back you hid the money in my bag, but you were too tired to go to your own bed, and fell asleep in mine. Hmmmmmm?"

". . . Kyon?"

"Ha, hit the nail on the head didn't I?"

"… Never mind"

I guess I'm going crazy, saying such random things out of nowhere just to explain these ever changing circumstances… _sigh_

"By the way, Haurhi. Why did we go to sleep so early last night?"

"It's the weekend, the SOS brigade is going on a trip!"

"Where to?"

"I don't know, I just don't want to let that car go to waste!"

I suddenly remembered everything that happened yesterday, it was almost like a dream due to how unreal it was.

"Kyon, go wash up. You didn't shower yesterday and an SOS brigade member will not be dirty in public. I'll go call the others and ask them to come."

"What about my clothes?"

"You can use some of my dad's. We'll be leaving right after you're done. I'll bring them to you later."

I walked towards the bathroom with a toothbrush that had been in contact with more than just _my_ saliva.

Before I brushed my teeth I washed the toothbrush vigorously. Besides that, I finished my shower like any other occasion.

I cracked open the door as I began wiping my head dry.

"Kyon, are you done?"

"Yea, just drying off-"

Haruhi was at the opened door with clothes in her hand. Remember, I was still using the towel to dry off my head and I only have one towel.

". . .?"

". . .!"

Words would not come out of both of our gaping mouths. I'm not sure if she could see my manhood at the angle I was standing at, but I closed the door and hurriedly tied the towel around my body.

"You idiot! Who the hell keeps the door open when they're exposed!"

"I was used to how the bathroom in my house is away from the main hallway!"

"How do you not realize that this is _my_ house!"

"Ack-!"

"I'll just leave the clothes outside."

After hearing footsteps drift into the distance, I quickly opened the door to grab the clothes and dressed myself.

I walked inside of Haruhi's room and saw that she was brushing her hair at her desk. I sat down on my bed right beside her desk.

"I've already called the others, they should be here soon."

"Have you figured out where we're going?"

"Koizumi-kun said that he could make something work."

I wonder what that esper is coming up with.

"Hey Kyon?"

"Yea?"

She stopped combing her hair and looked down at the floor towards me.

"Hey, what do you… think of m-?"

And at probably the worst possible time, I heard the most annoying voice ever.

"Kyon! Come outside, we're here!"

Koizumi was outside, annoying me from afar. What the hell was Haruhi about to ask!

I heard knocking on the front door.

"Never mind Kyon."

We walked outside and the rest of the SOS brigade members were standing on the sidewalk. Koizumi was filling my car with gas and Mikuru began talking to Haruhi. Nagato was there too, I was going to ask why she was absent the day before, but I decided against it.

"Hey, so where are we going?"

"Koizumi said that he'd have a fun schedule complete for the SOS Brigade!"

Impossible! They were only called here a few minutes ago. Does she realize how impossible it is for a normal person to create a trip _on the fly_?

"Haruhi, so what did Koizumi plan?"

"Uh, I'm not sure. Koizumi-kun what have you planned?"

"We're going to go sky diving!"

"Eep!"

An audible yelp was heard from Mikiru. I probably would have let one out also if I wasn't already gagging on my own saliva. Does Haruhi not find it strange that Koizumi was able to organize this instantly? Wait a minute, why does he even bother? Haruhi no longer has the potential to destroy the universe, so why does the Agency still exist?

"Great job Koizumi-kun! Today the SOS Brigade will go skydiving!"

The car had a full tank of gas now and we began our journey. After Koizumi told me about some familiar landmarks, I knew where we were going. It was going to be a surprisingly short drive for such an experience.

Haruhi was sitting up front talking to me about random occurrences that happened or _should have_ happened.

"So, Kyon? Haruhi? How was your morning?"

The car jolted forward a little. Haruhi quivered.

"Kyo-"

"We watched television and _enjoyed_ it! That's what happened!"

What the hell was that? He ruined the happy mood we had going on. _He wants me_ to throw him out of a moving vehicle…

"I see. . . Well, here we are!"

An isolated airport came into view, probably for Koizumi's Agency's use. As we were leaving the car I was wondering if everyone was really going to skydive. I mean, I don't have any unreasonable fear of heights, but normal high school students such as us can't be ready to experience something this extreme so suddenly. Well, I guess I can only apply that rule to myself- well I used to be able to.

"We'll have guides tie us to their harnesses while they skydive with us attached. They'll just do a quick rundown with us on proper form."

_Phew_ Did I really think that the first time we skydived would be by _ourselves_? _Heh heh._

"Ah, here they are."

"...?"

"You shouldn't keep your mouth open like that, Kyon. You'll catch flies."

"Who the hell are with these women?"

In front of us appeared a number of women with parachutes. It's not that women wearing parachutes is weird, it's because they didn't have much on _except_ for the parachutes. One was even wearing a bikini!

"Kyon, it's simple aerodynamics."

"Screw that you freaking idiot!"

Haruhi looked at the scantily clad women with awe and a little scorn. She hmphed and walked towards the loading dock. I looked around and spied Mikuru looked scared with wet eyes.

"Asahina-san, you don't want to go?"

"K-kyon-k-kun would it b-be alright?"

Haruhi waved her hand.

"Thank you, Suzumiya-san!"

Asahina walked to a nearby bench and sighed.

"Good luck everyone, I'll just stay here."

We boarded the plane and sat in a cabin with benches on either side. I noticed that Haruhi was abnormally silent.

"Hey, Haruhi."

"..."

"Haruhi."

"… What?"

"Are you alright? It's okay to be scared of this."

"I'm not scared! It's just that you-"

"…?"

"Never mind."

I sat down, I didn't want to push it.

After everyone got on and a few minutes of preparation, the plane began moving forward. This is gonna be _another_ interesting event that will be added to my life's memoir. Of course, the literary critics might just toss it aside, deeming it a fantasy novel.

The plane began its ascent

The ride up was something that gave me new insight to how my mind worked. Everything that's happened in my high school life so far came out of the blue. So I didn't really have any time to react and instead, I just went with it. But this situation was different, I knew what was coming and I was freaking out.

"Holy crap! Let me off! Don't make me jump, this is just too much! Koizumi!"

"Haha, there's nothing to fear, this is a completely safe hobby that many people have. Much like a backflip, after the first few times, the fear is gone and you'll be able to enjoy it! It's all a matter of your mind telling you that it's dangerous when it really isn't!"

An instructor sitting next to us told us that we had just reached 13,000 feet, jumping distance.

"How is 13,000 feet not dangerous?"

One of our _aerodynamic_ instructors began giving us instructions. We were going to be strapped onto a trained parachutist and dive out. This would normally be fine, but what is with their clothes!

"Alright everyone get together with your instructor and let them buckle you in!"

We stood up and the instructors began strapping their respective member in front of them. Nagato was still reading her book as she was being strapped in, unaware of the feelings that normal people should be experiencing before skydiving. As I was being strapped in Haruhi glanced at me then looked at the floor, almost with jealousy. What was going on with her?

One instructor signaled another and received a signal in return; she opened the hatch on the side of cabin. Loud winds roared in as I stared outside. I saw the horizon, and the ground, 13,000 feet away.

Haruhi was first up to jump, but she still looked melancholic. She wasn't showing the fear that normal people would be expressing, just an uneasy gloominess. They were standing at the door. Haruhi was leaning forward to look at the ground, leaning almost _outside_ of the plane. The instructor was holding the edges of the door when all hell broke loose. A buckle holding in Haruhi popped off, it dropped into the cabin and I noticed it was old and rusted. How did they not notice that! Haruhi fell out.

"Kyo-n!"

I looked at Koizumi's disturbed face and knew instantly that this wasn't part of the plan. He yelled.

"Hey, what the hell did you idiots do!"

No one was reacting, just standing there in awe, if no one went now then she wouldn't be able to be saved.

In what I can only describe as a spur of the moment reaction, I unbuckled myself from my harness. I ran towards the hatch as I looked towards Nagato and Koizumi. Nagato had a slight look of shock and Koizumi's smile was gone and replaced with a scowl as I watched him yell. This was probably Koizumi true self when he's not acting. I jumped out.

"HARUHI!"


	6. Day 3, Part 2

Sailing through the sky, wind burning my unprotected eyes, kicking the hell out of myself for doing something as stupid as this. A brief summary of how everything got this way would be too tedious, all that matters right now is that I'm falling from the sky at terminal velocity trying to save the girl that I…

_care for?_

"Haruhi!

Not more than a few seconds ago, I saw her fall out of a plane. Now I, a completely normal teenager, am chasing after her through the air without a parachute. The plane was far into the distance now and was steadily becoming a dot. I saddened, was I hoping someone would jump after me and save us both? Maybe. Death seemed imminent, reality bending was all subconscious so nothing could be done by will. Maybe I didn't want to live, I caused all of this anyway. My existence could only bring mayhem to this world.

What I knew was that I had to get to Haruhi, I dived towards her like how an action star would. The spec that was her body began to grow closer.

A thousand feet away,

a few hundred,

a dozen.

Violently, I grabbed her body from behind and hugged her tight. I turned her body around and she hugged me. Her face had tears flying away in the wind. She looked at me with surprise and anger, probably because she didn't want for me to go after her.

She tried to say something, so did I. Even with all of our might we couldn't hear each other over the rushing air. Is this how it's going to end? She gave up and buried her head on my chest as her body hugged my torso with her legs draped loosely around my own. I wanted to talk to her, to try to comfort her. If anything, I wanted her to know how I felt about her, how she makes me feel. I wanted to say it. I tried yelling it.

"_Haruhi, I love you!"_

No reaction came from her. The ground drew closer.

I released one of my hands and raised her head. She looked at me as the new tears on her face blew away in the wind. I wiped lingering tears from one of her eyes and she wiped the other out of embarrassment. Her eyes looked at mine. I mouthed the words "I love you."

She looked at me and squinted her eyes with a confused look. Could she not read my lips? This girl is really dense isn't she! I took both of my hands and cupped her face and she lit up with surprise. This scene seems reminiscent of an earlier time doesn't it? However, I'd hate to relive the same thing over and over, much less watch someone else do it. I smiled at her. My face leaned in.

Her hug tightened around me. Our cold, wind-chilled lips heated to a warm embrace immediately. Our lips caressed as my hands slowly moved across her face and onto her shoulders. It felt like it went on forever yet it was still too short. I began to pull away by moving my head back, but she followed my movements and our lips remained connected.

I tried to lean my head back further, she followed. I continued to lean back, my head was technically perpendicular to my back. She had climbed up higher was still kissing me. I pushed her face away, she looked at me with a happy grin and teary eyes. I saw her mouth say something. _I love you too._

I smiled, I felt such happiness. Then I saw her mouth say something as her face suddenly saddened. _I'm sorry_. The ground came ever closer

Is she blaming this on herself? This is my fault! Haruhi leaned her head on my shoulder as I began to hate myself further. This isn't right! I caused all of this. I undressed those girls, I took away Haruhi's uniform at the market, I ran out of gas at her house, it was me! These powers, they're going to kill her, even though she did nothing! The ground below me was less than a thousand feet away. I closed my eyes, I had many regrets, but it was impossible to do anything now.


	7. Day 3, Part 3

Yeah, I started this 2 years ago and had like a 1.5 year hiatus on it or something. Sorry about that

I'm finishing high school and going to college now and always felt like finishing it up.

**YOU SHOULD REALLY REREAD THE STORY IF YOU WANT THIS CHAPTER TO HAVE ANY SEMBLANCE OF SENSE.**

**I do not own the Haruhi Suzumiya series. First fanfic, Criticism is accepted and wanted.**

I can't feel anything. Moving is impossible, I neither have the energy or the necessary sensation. I can hear a loud ringing in my ears and nothing else. My eyes are drying up right now, I don't even have the energy to close them. A blurry image is coming through these eyes.

It's hazy. Something small, sharp, and wet is close to me. It's on my chest actually. Oh, it's just my rib poking out. I wonder what that means. Everything is so blurry and fuzzy, even my own thoughts. Where am I? What's going on? Why am I like this?

Focus! What can I see in front of me besides my protruding bone.

I see… the ground. I'm lying sideways on the ground. I can't recall any memories very clearly at the moment, so why am I like this? There's grass everywhere. I bet it would be a nice sensation to lay in it, if I could actually feel anything. I see something else… It's moving! It's getting closer to me, something brown. It's right next to me now. Oh no, the ground's moving! Oh wait, it's me that's moving.

I'm being held by something, my face is being propped upwards towards the sky. The brown blob is right above my face, it's shaking. My vision is a complete blur right now, my eyes are too dry to work. I can feel water dropping onto my face and running down, ouch it got into one of my eyes! My vision is coming back a little. Oh look, it's Haruhi…

…

…

Haruhi!_ Powers MyFault Death Skydive plane ground kiss I love you…_

I remember now! I fell- we fell. So how can she be besides me like this? I'm so glad that she's okay. It makes sense now. I'm half-dead from falling out of a plane. I still wonder how she's all right and I'm like this, but I guess it's fine this way. As long as she's not hurt, I'm content.

Haruhi's yelling at me. She's crying too. All I can do is make her sad. My throat feels so blocked up. I cough. Haruhi's face just got dotted with blood. She starts yelling harder at me. I still can't hear anything other than the ringing. That cough hurt so much. I don't even think I'm breathing anymore after that.

My chest feels tight. My vision's blurring again, now it's black. I think I'm dead now. So many questions are still out there. Can God even die? And what happens if he does?


End file.
